Britney, congrats on your Teen Choice Award. Now that we both have surfboards, let’s go surfing!

Another day another makeup chair!!!

All three members of Hanson were at my show tonight. Excellent hair, those three. Excellent.

“PLEASE HELP ME! I am so sunburned! I fell asleep with huge glasses on yesterday! This tan line is not ok!!!”

“The reason beds have space underneath them is so that you can have a place to put your cereal bowl when you’re done with it.”